Folding Paper 5

YEAR ONE DAY FIVE

You will never guess.  I mean, okay you probably will, you've read the blog title.  I hope.  Aw, who am I kidding, nobody reads this.  Just my voice bleating into the darkness.  Trying to make meaning from my days actions and usually failing. 

Jeez, look at that.  Took punk to be goth and too depressed to be either.  Grunge it do be then, a dead genre for a depressed soul.

Anyway, more paper folding.  I was only in for a couple of hours before my hypnotherapy session.  And I must say, I think everyone else is handling this a lot better than I am, the works that my fellow students are creating is so good, I'm feeling a tad...  out of place. I've struggled to hit a consistent level, whereas everyone else seems to be getting better and better.  Maybe my level isn't that high after all?

But to be fair, I've always struggled to translate the things in my head to the real world anyway.  I'm clumsy and too big to be an intricate artist, and that's something that's always been the case. I can paint what I like, and that's tided me over.   It's only being taken out of that comfort zone where I'm found wanting.  Just keep pushing, do your best and hope.

So yeah, last day of folding paper.  Clear the decks, one last push and lets see what happens.  And what happens is I take the work from Wednesday, and refine and alter it, cutting into it so the shapes fit together better, are more integrated.  It does not stay together, the shapes are not locked, but I think I learned from yesterday that that's fun.  You can play and move them around, which is cool.  Also it's a little less sexual.  Hooray!

And that's when the inspiration kinda dried up.  To the extent that I'm struggling to even find the enthusiasm to write about those next experiments, to remember what went into making them.  Certainly, there was no verb, I was just playing with the paper, seeing what it would do. So that was a mistake, and probably something I'll need to work on..  I could possibly bullshit a verb and reason backwards, but that wouldn't be honest, to be honest.

So yeah, my therapy threw me out of what little creative headspace I had managed to achieve, and again, being honest, I'm probably not right again yet.  I'm writing this on Saturday, after having been awake since 5am, and I don't know where to go next.