Escape

 Escape (2021)

A photographic series of works around the theme of escaping reality, through self destructive  hedonistic, ways.

Pills, drugs, sex, music, alcohol, death?

Mostly monochrome, Instagram formatted and filtered.  Pushing the boundaries of what will and will not be censored.  This series is taking me to a darker place than before, and Instagram’s censorship is a source of concern.  Means I need to get my own webspace up to spec again. 

The work has given me a very visceral reaction to it, moreso than most other works I have created recently.  Tapped into something inside myself that yearns to break free?  I don’t know, I don’t fully understand it yet. The need to draw closer to death by blanking out the day to day existence.  Skirting close to edge of life.  A thrill seeker or just trying to take the edge off the days?

There is loss here too, the loss of previous partners in the crime, lovers of the edge. Memories and depression, highs and lows.

The first image of pills carries a sexual undercurrent to it, something I have tried to enhance with a warmer tone to it.  The second a brutal realism, as I have no wish to romanticize anymore than necessary the realities of drug use. Where the series goes from here, the shape the next images will take I am not clear on yet.  They exist, half formed ghosts. And while it is tempting to leave them there, memories of events that have not happened, the series should be bought to its conclusion.

Is there an irony in knowing about how destructive this all is, yet yearning for it anyway?  An addiction, my obsession, my mulatto, an albino…